Andrea Gibson at the Lied Center

Last night's show at the Lied Center was a pretty amazing hour of poems. I'm so happy I went. The stories that Andrea puts between the poems are maybe the best reason to go. I've heard or read most of these poems before, but the lead-up or the explanations that go after... they give them further context in a way that makes them maybe not more meaningful (although sometimes that too) but more powerful.

When you're used to seeing artists on YouTube: dancers, musicians, poets -- sometimes it's difficult to understand exactly how they'll be in person. For example, there's a bellydance I LOVE to watch perform, but when I show people her videos online it's almost impossible for anyone to get a sense of exactly why I like her so much. Sure, she has the technical stuff down, but it conveys nothing of the tension she puts into her dance.

I feel like as touching as Andrea's poems can be when read, or heard on YouTube, being present for a reading of them, transforms them. You cannot explain to someone else how moved they'll be. They have to experience it for themselves.

Anyhow, I say that to explain that last night was exactly what I'd hoped for. I've listened to Andrea's new album, Hey Galaxy, but none of them quite transfixed me the way hearing them in person did.

After the show, I picked up their new book, "Take Me With You". It's a sort of short form compilation of the highlights of Andrea's work. It's short quotes from poems that are especially powerful. I think it'll be a great way to introduce people to their work too. I plan on taking mine into the office with me. I get comments or questions about my tattoo constantly. This will be a good way to explain it to people.


Once I picked up the book, I stood in line for about an hour more to meet Andrea. I was alone this time and filled with a room full of people that were much younger than me (unless they were parents or teachers there with a teen). 
I also realized how very queer I felt in that moment, with my undercut hair, my Hannah Hart sweatshirt, waiting for Andrea Gibson, in my gender pronoun pin and my new Property of No One jacket. Married as I am, to a man, and in a corporate job where I have to dress pretty conservatively (though I'm prone to casual-down my clothing for comfort where I can), my hair is about the only bit of non-hetero-normative life I get to express. I do cherish the little moments I get to feel a little more like people see my full self. 
Just before I went up to Andrea's table last night, as my stomach was churning and I was having a hard time breathing and felt sort of all over like DON'T SCREW THIS UP AGAIN panic attack was on the horizon. As the women in front of me left Andrea's table, they stood up and disappeared around the corner. The person helping with their signing (girlfriend, manager, friend? idk) said they were going to get the dogs. 
You don't know how thankful I am for that moment. Squashy, Andrea's tiny dog, stood on the table in front of me, between Andrea and I as I handed over my book. I showed them about my tattoo. They signed my book and I scritched Squashy's adorable little face. There could not have been more perfect timing for that dog to sit on that table. I know it wasn't for me. But it was exactly what I needed to get through that moment, to say hello like a normal fucking person, get my book signed and walk away without losing my shit. 
Against my obvious evidence to the contrary (eg. these two posts about Andrea) I do not get this wound up about meeting people, getting things signed, going to events. I'm not good in crowds for long periods of time, but I don't usually get so worked up over things like this. And even when I am excited, I still don't have trouble introducing myself or talking to someone. 
But I also don't get just anything in a tattoo. The time in my life when I felt good enough to get a reminder that sometimes you have to go through some shit to come out the other side a different person? It was really hard. So talking to the person that wrote down what I use as pretty much a daily reminder that things get better? Yeah, I feel like it's not without reason that I'd get worked up over it. But I did it. 
And next Friday night, I plan to do it again.