Working Though It; making a list of small gratitudes

At work I tend to listen to a lot of podcasts, it's a good way to get through the day and really helpful for a few good laughs. Lately though, I've had a lot of trouble focusing both at work and at home with all the writing projects I want to be working on. I've switched back over to favoring music both in the car (instead of audiobooks like normal). Even then choosing something I want to listen to has been difficult also, mostly because I want stuff that's going to pump me up or at least make me feel good.

Putting together the two schwarmerei playlists [one, two] earlier this month was actually really helpful, I had to think about the sort of music that was honestly going to be a good way to alter my mood for something good. Currently I've got all these projects I want to work on but can't seem to get myself to pick them up. 

Most of the things in my life are pretty good at the moment. I finally got the promotion I've been waiting for and a nice bonus along with it. But, we also just found out our oldest dog, Piper, has metastasized cancer in her lungs. We've had her almost exactly ten years, making her fifteen (maybe a year or two older, they weren't sure of her age when we rescued her). But two years ago we lost one of the greatest doggie loves of my life, Jazz, and I'm missing him a lot as I look at the way Piper is declining. They were pretty good puppy friends and I feel like I can see him next to her some days, sitting or laying nearby one another like they used to. 

We've been expecting for so long that we'd eventually have to watch Piper pass, but now that we're watching her last few weeks, maybe month, I'm not ready for it. 

I don't want to make this a completely sad post about Piper's decline, no one really wants to read that anyway. But it's definitely a weight I'm carrying around and even if I'm not actively thinking about it, it's there in the back of my mind taking up space I'm usually using on something else. 

So, like a lot of times in my life, I'm turning to music to help shift my mood. For a week or two I found myself just binging all those episodes of Supergirl. It's easy to hide in long television binges. I had to tear myself away from it this week (made a little easier by the fact that I was definitely losing interest in the second season's plots -- more on that another day). Instead, I've been playing some Overwatch, which I find kickstarts my brain a little, and this weekend I actually sat down with something more than this blog to write on. 

TBH writing blog posts every day is helpful, even when they're small. I feel like they're little bits of gratitude, little reminders for myself of things I am honestly enjoying. 

So let me mention a few things that are really helping me at the moment. 
  • The first IS a podcast: Good Christian Fun -- I've mentioned this one before and it's still great. I laugh at every episode and the 2nd service episodes have been both fun and informational, getting me thinking about stuff. (Kevin's love for the Paddington movies also made me watch Paddington for the first time, and I can confirm it's an earnestly adorable and light-hearted good time.)
  • The song "Good as Hell" by Lizzo (which I put on my first playlist up there)
  • The song "Two Fux" by Adam Lambert (which is on my second playlist linked up there)
  • Old and new episodes of Critical Role -- I just finished episode 75 of the first campaign and I laughed through the whole thing. Those nerds really make me happy. 
  • The new show by Polygon on YouTube -- Overboard, where members of the staff of Polygon.com play board games.
  • The new song by Janelle Monae "Make Me Feel", because hell yes & the video for this is a bisexual's happy place. It's amazing. 
  • This isn't a thing, but it's important to me: with my work bonus I was able to pay down my student loan quite a bit. By the end of the year I might have that paid off and that's such a weight off. 
If you're struggling right now, I highly recommend finding some songs or some shows that'll make you laugh or dance, at least draw your focus for a little bit. Getting your brain a little kickstart with something that triggers a happy thought gives it something to focus on whatever you don't have the energy for right now. Plus, if you're like me, making a list of 5+ things is always a good time.

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